You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize