Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Randomize
