Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
3pm strippers are depressing
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize