Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize