I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I wear drunk well.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
