even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
