i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
