how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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