There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
