those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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