I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
