Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
