Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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