fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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