Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Randomize
