IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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