see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Randomize
