I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
