I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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