I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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