he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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