what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Randomize
