I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
