In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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