So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
He kissed a someone with a penis
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
