Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize