Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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