Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize