she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
