she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
