I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
