i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
People with herpes should wear stickers.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
