It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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