i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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