I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
