He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
