Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
