so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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