try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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