I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
