Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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