We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You dont lie about slip and slides
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
