you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
