You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
This is the high leading the old right now
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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