Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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