I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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