at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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