I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize
