I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
