I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
you would pick up someone in the library
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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