girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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