I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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