I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
