jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This is my gift to your gina
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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