the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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