just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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