And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
