Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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