Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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