I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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