How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
