just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
