oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize